telling you i can't be without you

i had the opportunity to go see my friend's new house last weekend, and also live without internet for an ENTIRE WEEKEND. it's amazing how the internet's become the primary medium for my age's demographic, the absence of which may drive some to go crazy. junkie's drying up, going through withdrawal...



as you can see from above, the "elite" amongst us operate fine with mobile devices that utilize rouge wi-fi signals in the ether, while the airport on this poor schmuck's macbook couldn't hold a signal for more than ten seconds. still, helping hands and good conversation always suffice for the metaphorical methadone, and i'd go crazy without either from the people i call friends. and with promises of BBQs and camp fires, jam sessions in the attic and hikes through the "honey trail," the 2009 summer nights are looking to be moments of bliss mixed with rapture and seasoned with mental clarity. Read: things i need more of.

Worst lead up to a round of shots

me: It's obvious that most of the stimulus package that Bush gave Americans went towards the purchase of Chinese goods. We essentially gave our Federal Reserve Notes to China.

balding old man: Not all of it, I'm sure...some must have gone to Taiwan, or maybe Korea.

me: Same difference in this context. I guess not all of it went to benefit Chinese companies directly, as we probably really stimulated the outsourced industry in Asia. My point is, American industry wasn't stimulated very much. Ever hear of the North American SuperCorridor Coalition or the Amero?

balding old man: You've been listening to too much Rush Limbaugh, or reading too much Internet media.

me: (laughs) I'm paranoid for good reason, balding old man. Now let's have those Jameson shots and toast for a better tomorrow.

Re: 6 Jan.

Re: Vila notes

I've often sat in my local park, looking at the manhattan skyline from a bench, and wondered why i was picked to live in a city such as this. Not only why, but sitting and merely realizing that fact of residency in a moment of self-actualization. And as i grew older and saw the incoming "foreigners" I'd wonder to myself how could they ever feel a sense of belonging to the century-old red brick and pot-holes, or the abandoned factories from former generations. When I look up to see the modern design of a new development that reflects the light of the sun setting over the river, burning the whole of New Jersey, I feel that no one is listening. The only response to be found is a giant, ridgid middle finger rising above the legacy of the world's diaspora.

the burning emblem (meaningless)

I was out in the valley that Charles Manson and his cult were dwelling in, Surprise Canyon, reckless hippies occupying old gold prospectors space (an old desert basin that the Panamint people would only venture into for spiritual journeys that would bring them to the bring of death) The power and greed for gold replaced by the misconstrued ideas of LSD-inflicted madmen. make the most of it. the emblem is lost, the meaning buried beneath the carbonates and detritus that are the hills.

burning emblems at the Manson family ranch.

detour (whole in the ground)

The feeling had changed from an amalgam of hope, passive joy and mild relief to a deep idleness, a dread of being left behind when all others were being washed towards the island of progress. Sabbatical? Sub-par performance? Poor writing? The supposed strength became an obvious weakness, as the lion sinks its teeth deep into the shoulder, rendering limbs lifeless and void of use. The mind is still in shock; there were no clues to be seen prior to the straightforward statement. You remember being told this, “Be ready for anything at anytime from anybody.” Have you forgotten it? Maybe you have had enough good fortune to forget it.

I undoubtedly have had good fortune, yet I don’t think this is the shock of receiving distraughtly sudden news. I feel I was in a perpetual state of passivity, as you have mentioned with my now dreadful feeling if idleness. In fact, I feel most of the time I am passively pensive, perturbed or downtrodden. Sometimes I feel as if I take the people I meet for granted. I do have an idea of poor states of the mind, of the heart, or of misfortune. I create my own misfortune that counters the positive actions done towards me. I feel it is my intrinsic reaction to embrace sadness through happiness. It creates a sense of being that I feel is who I am.

Well, all I am saying is misfortune is universal. And don’t get too emotional you damn vagina.

Takes one to know one, sunshine.

West 8th St. & Surf Ave.

i remember working in coney island, the day they stopped using coin tokens. there were those who disagreed with the banishment of tokens. (the fare had only just been raised to $1.50 and new-shaped token had not being circulating for long) the Metrocard had been intended as a temporary invention, but it caught on, going from blue to gold, to simply a debit card. but for some reason, ease of the "swipe" notwithstanding, carrying coins for fares in your pocket brings a smile to my face (Boston, Philadelphia, Montreal)

for those who forgot, the fork goes into the mouth. eat the beans and savor the iron.