Thursday, March 05, 2009

Spare Change

After tossing in all fourteen nickels and eight dimes into the fare meter, I walked to the back of the bus and wondered how long the line inside the post office would be. The moment I sat down, I noticed the large glutton I'd passed while walking down the aisle. I wish I could have pontificated my objections to the Fatso Rizzo for throwing gnawed ribs onto the floor of the bus. He was oblivious to all matter around him, and instead of breathing, sucked in air only between the large chomps he took of his dead pig. He left no room for empathy, as he didn't even offer anyone on the bus one of the several dozen ribs I assumed he got from the corner BBQ place. I'm sure they closed shop after this guy trotted out with his palette of ribs. I wish I could have asked him:

When is a layer cake just too much? After the eighth spare-rib you've crammed down your fat neck. Let's put some thought into this gorge-fest. The amount of pig flesh consumed could be reduced to six ounces from the seven or more pounds you probably consume daily. I doubt you're regular on the toilet. Meat does not solve all problems, unlike the MEAT COUNCIL would like you to believe. If only you knew half the chemicals your meat probably contains, let alone what's on the COUNTRY HAMS I'm sure you dream of fornicating with. Because of the unsanitary conditions at many INDUSTRIALIZED FARMS a large number of pesticides and fumigants are being used to control pests who may otherwise damage a pristine strawberry. (Not that you'd ever be caught sucking down a strawberry with your greased up pudgy digits) Chemicals are also sprays on freight cars and cargo trailers to microbes and vermin don't eat it all before you can. DEATH is possible from being exposed to such chemicals. Even though you may get to be on TV for being a large Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon it's not advisable, as such publicity is also extremely life-threatening. You may have somehow been inspired, but this is not the way towards a better end. AND FOR FUCK'S SAKE, PICK UP YOUR DAMN BONES! RATS LOVE PEONS LIKE YOU! If I could somehow procure all my necessary , I would sit cross-legged on top of a tenement and watch our life-giving orb set over the Palisades everyday.

Improvisation should be practices as soon as a child starts to write his/her name.

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