wide open eyes (meandering)

i find my eyes are on the clock a lot these days. I feel pressured to get as much rest as possible before jumping up and running around, filing, writing, guessing, mis-interpreting (is that possible to do?) and then gallivanting, much too much gallivanting.

I will always feel like a stranger in a strange land, which leads to accusations of myself being an alien to society, an alien among residents. if i confuse you, it only means that i am even more confused, probably. i have definitely come to realize that a state of normality is defined by a sense of confusion.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT, i have a confusion."

"you have a confusion? well, you better get that checked out. You don't want to be walking around with a confusion sticking out of you."
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4 day weekend back in Brooklyn, yet i know how it will go. Work needs to be done, but then I will have to sit and talk for hours with various people, family and friends, sit on the roof and watch the planes go by above my head (air-traffic fascinates me) maybe decide to go for a 3-hour-30-minute walk (always happens) which becomes a rendezvous with someone, unexpectedly, and a movie or more discussion proceeds unexpectedly (or maybe 3 movies) By the time i realize (i'm so bad at keeping track of time) it is past dusk and evening, dinner plans become inebriation plans, socializing, or just simply milling around waiting for people to become free. Maybe i'll go into a record store, or walk blocks to see if that good pizza place is still there. fade.......things become a blur of grandiose ganders and thoughts of going to sleep early to get a fresh start on the morrow. (which means waking up at 11 instead of 7.) Mutliply this by 4 days and i am behind schedule, yet i seem to have caught up with my privileged upbringing in a metropolitan (THE metropolitan)

3 hour drive back up north, sit and stare at the mirror. FADE)